All Things First Day of Summer School

June 29, 2015

First Post on Facebook Today: “First day of school! First day of school! First day of summer school, freshmen academy for the fellas of Boys’ Latin! I hope you’re all ready to math!”

Current Feels: My first day of teaching went very smoothly. I met my boys and I can’t wait to get to know them. I was not one of the teachers who returned to the dorms crying. I am not regretting my decision to join TFA. I am struggling to find a home in New Jersey and it feels impossibly overwhelming. The extensive lesson plan requirements are a terrible waste of my time… but my students didn’t cuss me out today… I didn’t get M&Ms thrown at me… No one called me a bitch or told me I was ugly so overall my first day of summer school with kids went just fine.

My collab and I will be just fine navigating through these four weeks. It’s looking like a lot of sleepless nights and even more restless weekends. But… family and friends… just know I am here to brace, adapt and overcome so that’s what I’ll be doing in room 307, send me love.

All Things Day 1 of Institute

June 22 2015

Well day one of Institute and I have already broken down.

I will be teaching at Boys’ Latin Charter School in West Philadelphia for the next 5 weeks. The school is amazing, the staff is passionate and enthusiastic and I really love my group and my ‘collab’ specifically, his name is Jaycee. My collab is the person I will be team teaching with during Institute.

In my group, the STEM geeks, there are 12 Corps Members (CMs). And at Boys’ Latin Charter School there were 8 positions for freshman academy math and 4 positions for (get this) Biochemistry I and II. BIOCHEMISTRY. MY MAJOR. A CLASS I HAVE EXPERIENCE BEING A TEACHER’S ASSISTANT IN. A SUBJECT I AM INSANELY PASSIONATE ABOUT. Anddddd my assignment is: math.
For those of you that know me well, you know I despise math almost as much as I love ranch (and even if you don’t know me that well the ranch comparison should shed some light on how I feel because you probably know how much I love ranch).

Anyways, it took everything I had to not break down in front of everyone right then and there. My Corps Member Adviser (CMA) Matt took me into the hall and I lost it. Why wouldn’t the choose ME over anyone for one of the biochemistry positions? Matt then told me that he also majored in biochemistry, entered TFA to teach high school chemistry and was assigned high school English at Institute. He said “I walked out when I got my placement, so you’re already doing better than me”. Which made me feel insanely better, as I was crying like I was saying by to my friends in Albuquerque all over again. I had to suck it up for the remaining three hours, I couldn’t cry in front of all those intelligent, professional TFA CMs.

I just got back to my dorm and let it all out. Cried and cried. My roommate hates her placement and my other suite-mates came back and one of them is crying harder than I was because of her placement. Like it’s cussing devastating that we have to throw ourselves into a subject outside of our content area. I shimmied over to my desk and wrote this email to my CMA that has all my thoughts.

Hello Matt.

So I have cried it out a little longer in my dorm room and I am still sad and scared. I just need to say a few more words before I let it go. The reason I am so upset is because I always give 100% in everything that I do. I never agree to something unless I am willing to give it my all and that’s why I feel so conflicted. How am I supposed to give ‘being a math teacher’ my all when I’m not the slightest bit interested in the subject? How am I going to get students to care about it, when I barely scraped my way through math classes in high school? How am I supposed to write a vision statement for a class when I’m terrified there’s no way I’ll actually fulfill that vision because I can’t teach the content due to my inability to grasp the concepts?

The best teachers are the ones who are passionate about what they are teaching. And I am absolutely not passionate about math… .

I really love Boys’ Latin and I’ve never quit anything in my entire life and I won’t start now. But I have to say how I feel now before I take a breath and brace for the next five weeks as a math teacher. Whoever made the classroom assignments, made a mistake.There is not a single person there that is more passionate or who would work harder than I would to make that biochemistry course absolutely amazing.

I am not doubting the other CM’s abilities but I know, whole-heartedly I belong in that biochemistry classroom this summer. We talk so in depth about how our work is all about the students and how student achievement is our number one priority. Wouldn’t placing a teacher who is just insanely excited about biochemistry and committed to teaching it be the best option for the students?

Ultimately I know in my heart of hearts the students are the ones that will get the short end of the stick, the ones in my math class and the ones that won’t get to have me as a biochemistry teacher. And this does not sit well with me, nor do I feel like it aligns with the mission of TFA. Just because it is summer school, the students shouldn’t have to suffer as I try to re-learn freshman math. I can’t just keep the mindset ‘oh well at least I’ll get some learning experience’. I feel like I am being set up to fail and it’s the worst feeling. Especially when I could do absolutely amazing in a classroom with baby biochemists.

With that being said, My number one goal for institute was to establish a functioning and tactful classroom management plan. So I am going to focus on that. I am going to work my absolute hardest to make sure I am the best freaking math teacher I possibly could be. Getting better at math will only make me better at science and I’m just appreciative I wasn’t placed in English or Reading. I have accepted it and the only way for me to get anything out of this is if I fully commit to it, so I won’t be upset or bring it up again. But if there is someone you could pass my email along to that is responsible for the placement process for institute classrooms, I would appreciate it. I have an idea for a pre-institute survey that could assist in assigning placements!

Sorry this ended up being so much longer than I had originally planned. Thank you for your time and I really am looking forward to getting through these next five weeks with you!

Hope this finds you happy and healthy,

Jenna Claire Hall

And just like that I’ll be teaching math. The most frustrating part is that if I was teaching biochemistry, a content area I am familiar with, I wouldn’t have to waste time learning it, I could just focus on my lesson plan. Now, I am going to have to work harder, spend even more time, get even less sleep learning the material to ensure I can effectively teach it.

It’s daunting and frustrating and overwhelming. But I’m going to do it.

All Things Induction

June 19 2015

It is Friday night and Induction has officially ended. I am one of like five humans left in the dorms and I am incredibly lonely. Eddie offered to FaceTime-watch Orange is the New Black with me which was comforting. It made me realize how much more difficult this time would be without him. Knowing I have someone to think about me and worry about me (other than my mom), it’s nice.

Induction went extremely well.
Initially I was wildly apprehensive and had assumed it would be just like any other conference I’d been to before but I was wrong. Induction was about discovering the foundations of the New Jersey community. It was about dissolving the facades and the grim pictures the media paints. It was about discovering how silence is just as detrimental as outright racism. We talked about all that is race and social inequity. Like actually talked. Not the kind of talk that brushes the surface, but the kind that really knocks you on your feet and leaves your head spinning for a few days. The kind of conversations that scare the things that nightmares are made of.
I’m still absorbing.

As a white female it’s difficult for me to feel like I have a voice in the issue of race. Hearing the term “People of Color” my entire childhood and into adulthood has left me with this fallacy that I am raceless. White is a color and even acknowledging that as a truth helps. I’m also still unable to even begin to grasp the oppression the African American community has historically faced and I feel that makes me inadequate and guilty and still confused. More than anything I am overwhelmed. I have spent my whole life in New Mexico, learning and attempting to understand the oppression the Native American community faced and learning the resources and culture my cities had to offer. Now I feel I am starting from the very bottom. I still can’t even fathom the deep-seeded, engrained, socially enforced feeling of racism being spewed at the African American community nor do I know how to combat that or what steps to take to eliminate it from my classroom. Even broader, I have no idea the ins and outs of this state. How am I supposed to support and be a beneficial resource for my students when I still need my GPS to get me to and from Panera and home.

On the brighter side I am still unwaveringly optimistic and hopeful. The drive and the passion displayed by my fellow corps members is utterly astounding. The willingness to be vulnerable and to start the conversations that most people spend their whole lives avoiding and the unconditional love they have for the students they haven’t even met is invigorating. We are all aware of our charges and our mission and we are hell-bent on making changes and we realize now we are here to learn the ‘how’. I’m so honored to have been chosen to join in this fight with these individuals by my side.

My roommate Henrietta and my suitemate Nia have become two of my great friends and I am excited to spend five more weeks with them in Philadelphia Institute.

Henrietta is the sweetest soul I’ve met in a while. She called me ‘motherly’ which clearly shows how little she knows about me, as I am usually still the child. It’s ironic because she is more motherly, or maybe it’s just her physical attributes. Huge bust huge booty huge heart (okay not physical, but I hate talking about the shell of a soul for too long). She says sweet things like “I’m so glad we are roommates Jenna” and “How about you just teach in Camden so we can live together”. She is an introvert and I feel has difficulty adjusting to my explicit extroverted personality so she constantly laughs when I speak. We actually laugh together pretty frequently. I hope that lasts through Institute.

Nia is a fierce little devil. She is tall and slender and, I hate to say it, but has resting bitch face. She called me a ‘freak john’ last night after I, first, disclosed my fervent affection for tattoos and piercings and second, proceeded to laundry list all the epidermis locations I have had metal needle-ed into. Apparently a ‘freak John’ is like a slutty girl who does freaky things with boys. Not entirely accurate, but I appreciate the new voacb. Nia and I are in a similar situation as far as being not hired. We are both in TFA purgatory waiting to hear back from interviews. Last night we joked that neither of us would get assigned a job and have to work as Andrew’s assistant (Andrew Kim is the TFA staff member who sends out all the emails so he is who most of us have been conversing with since we joined the NJ Corps).

Last night was an excellent night. Henrietta, Nia and Sarah (Nia’s dorm mate) and I sat in Nia’s room and laughed about TFA and tattoos and boys and nothing at all. And it was everything. “I have friends” I thought to myself as I silent laughed on Nia’s floor for who knows how long. It’s terribly sad that all three of them are teaching in Camden. The search for Newark friends and potential roommates continues.

Today one of the TFA staff said “this is it. You are about to enter the belly of the beast. Not to break it down, the system has already done that. We are going in to rebuild”. I am ready. I am motivated. I am a white anti-racist ally and I’m ready to fight the good fight. My students need me and I’ll be ready for them.

All Things New in New Jersey

June 17 2015

I have been in New Jersey for four days now. It’s hard to formulate words for how I feel. I had to drop Ed off at the airport this morning so I am officially taking on this city alone. I feel like I cheated a bit having him here. It’s always easier to have someone that loves you close by and I didn’t want to take any shortcuts in having this experience. But here I am 2,000 miles from New Mexico, without Eddie and I haven’t perished. My little heart knows I will miss him, heavy, soon, but everything is still so new my feels haven’t settled yet. When they do I’ll feel less me without him here.

The buildings are so tall, the cars on the road drive very aggressively and pedestrians do not give one single cuss about crosswalks. Literally all humans just go for it, regardless of the color of traffic light or how close the nearest crosswalk is to them; It is a total rat race out there. But everything feels beautiful. Strange, but beautiful. The people are different, I’m not sure how to describe it, but different. Perhaps more risky yet more vigilant, more poor yet much more rich.

Strangers here still seem strange.

Superficially the city seems old, run-down and definitely crime-ridden, but there’s something about it. It has heart. One hell of a strong, beating, hopeful, heavy heart. A lively pulse that seems to invigorate the residents and fill the homes and buildings to the brim. To describe this city as hopeless or full of despair or completely run-down would be a lie, which is honestly what I expected to unveil.

I was very sick today and ended up totally missing the first day of Induction but I feel better and plan to participate in everything tomorrow. We will be taking buses to Camden and actually ‘working in the community’… I’m unsure what that entails but that is the description on our schedules.

I love my roommate. Her name is Henrietta and she is from New Jersey and is going to teach in Camden, 3rd grade. She appreciates my enthusiasm and I appreciate her genuineness. I would love it if we roomed together again at Institute, but TFA is all about mixing it up so I doubt we will be.

I’ve told everyone so far that I love New Jersey…

But the thing is I know I will be living here the next two years for sure… so I’m not sure if I am so in love with it as I am relieved that nothing terrible has happened to make me hate it.
This Newly New Jersey gal is going to hit the hay. Thank you Rutgers-Newark for the most comfortable dorm room, cardboard bed hay ever.

All Things Pre TFA (2)

May 20, 2015

I am officially a college graduate and nothing has slowed down. I still have a zillion things on my to-do list for TFA and deadlines keep sneaking up on me.
I am, however, out of my Carlisle house which was such a suffocating environment I felt I was physically being crushed under the weight of the tension and stress. Even with this wild to do list I feel lighter knowing I have a happy home to go to at the end of the day.
That home is actually a temporary locale, Boyfriend Eddie’s Parent’s home. They so graciously opened their arms to this homeless broad for the next few weeks until I leave for New Jersey. I am very excited that boyfriend Eddie will be accompanying me on my drive to NJ in June and then moving there permanently in August. What a wonderful adventure we have ahead of us.

I am happy. I am happy to be out of that toxic house on Carlisle and happy to be starting a brand new life a thousand miles away. However, Albuquerque is my home and I grow to love it more and more each day. I’ve even come to accept the very real truth that I would like to end up back here, someday, maybe.

I’m nervous about New Jersey. What will the people be like? The food? The traffic? Will my neighborhood be sketchy? Will I be unbearably lonely? Will I have a roommate or will I live alone? Will I get a job at the interview fair? What if I absolutely hate the east coast?
Well I hope I have a more positive outlook than to ever admit to the last one. Once I get there I am determined to find the beauty in that side of the country. Water, desert, mountains, coffee shops, flea markets… Whatever the east coast has to offer I want to soak it all in.
This summer is not going to be ‘Fun Summer 15’ as I had hoped might follow ‘Fun Summer 14’ but it will be one of new challenges and hopefully growth.

I worry constantly if this is the right path for me. I worry that I am going to be a horrible teacher. That I am missing out on graduate school. I worry that I’m supposed to be working in a lab, tirelessly hunting for a cure to childhood cancer. I worry that I’m not working on things that make my soul happy. I’m worried when I’m in New Jersey I’ll forget to find things that make me happy and I’ll be busy and miserable.
“Sometimes I can feel my bones straining under the weight of all the lives I’m not living.”
—Jonathan Safran Foer, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

But I suppose I’ll never grow if I do things that keep me comfortable.
I am deciding to be only excited. I can be nervous but not the kind of nervous that is also worry. I am no longer going to worry or stress. Only let the positivity of excitement seep through and let the rest fall away.
Jenna Claire you were born to do this. To do exactly what you are doing. You’ll never be mediocre and you’ll never be content until you’re doing something that has an impact on others and this is it. This is why you were drawn to TFA. You’re good at this. Teaching Chemistry. Take a deep breath. Do more listening and less talking. Be profound when you do speak and never lose your enthusiasm. Team Jenna. You’re made of love and grace. Hold on to that. Hold on to that with both hands.

All Things Team Jenna

March 2, 2014

As listed previously. I love it when humans say they are on Team Jenna. Thank you MM for being the first to say it. You’re my favourite.

It just makes me so happy. And 2015 is all about being happy.

In my Biochemistry 448L, we are divided in to small groups of six. On day one I partnered with my pal Dre, whom I have been in cahoots with since last spring in Intensive Biochemistry II. We strategically chose members who were in our vicinity, with absolutely no prior knowledge of their work ethic or academic standards, and demanded we be placed in the same bracket. Dr. Hu, Who? Yes, Dr. Hu allowed us to stick together and now my small group cohort refers to themselves as Team Jenna, and for that I love them. We were required to choose a team leader and everyone immediately looked or pointed at me. Obviously, I would’ve lobbied for the role, so it was in everyone’s best interest to comply. Is that leadership, or dictatorship? Does it matter? Yeah Kim Jong Un and I don’t think so either.

For the sake of efficiency in the laboratory, our group of six is further divided in to pairs. My lab partner Jim, who I want to murder 99% of the time for being unfocused, fairly incompetent and utterly annoying… Actually the reason I really like Jim is that he calls me out on my bullshit or tells me when I’m being a bitch and I appreciate that… Anyway Jim got us shirts… Like legit athletic shirts. I initially thought he was joking, but I sent him a design (just in case). And he did it. And he paid for them. And we have shirts. And I’m obsessed.

In a class full of senior biochemists five humans have agreed to be on Team Jenna and wear a shirt with my name on it once a week. It blows my mind. There are humans, extremely smart, dedicated, driven humans that want to wear my name on their chest. I am still in awe, and I simply had to share before they become old news, and the initial excitement dulls. We’ve only had them for a about a week so it hasn’t really sunk in, but this is quite an accomplishment.

As is the case with most group projects, I take on the majority of the responsibility because I am usually the one who is most concerned with gettin dat A. But in this group I think I take on more because I am expected to earn the name on our shirts. It is motivating, exhausting, but motivating.

My final remark is that in addition to the six of us sporting these rad Ts, we also gave one to Dr. Hu, Who? Dr. Hu and Dr. Orlando (head of the Biochemistry Department), with the stipulation that they have to wear them on graduation. Dr. Orlando said he would wear his, and he speaks at the podium and everything! He said “who cares about bias”… That’s the truth.

Because let’s be honest, there’s really no other team to be on.
#TeamJenna

“She was unstoppable. Not because she did not have failures or doubts. But because she continued despite of them.” – Beau Taplin//Unstoppable

All Things Bright

February 23, 2015
It’s 12:53 on a Sunday night. The eve of my ‘anemias’ exam- which I am wildly underprepared for, but here I am typing away. Currently on my 4^th dip of the day. The right side of my lower lip is super sensitive and raw. I am unbearably sore from body pump. Everything’s a mess. The hair. The bed. The room. The head. But I am so happy. I love being Jenna.

Today I tindered (Again procrastinating studying) and a boy sent me a message that said “well you look like you’re a fun life-liver”. Duh Dennis. Then he said he could see it in my eyes, and in my smile. I don’t ever want to lose that. I don’t want to die at 23, just to be buried at 85. I’m going to be alive, not just physiologically. I’m determined to resist growing numb to all the joy in the world. I’ll never harden. The future is going to be full of hardship and heartbreak. I’ll feel it all, because that’s what I do. I feel everything so deeply. “I’d rather learn what it feels like to burn than feel nothing at all” says Ron Pope. Most of all I am going to be incredibly real, in an insufferably fake world. Here are a few things that have made me happy this week. In case your shiny happiness feels far away, reach around in the dark, it’s not as far as you think. Hopefully this can help.

1. I found almond poppyseed mix at WalMart
2. I can hear my ‘Wick’ Candle burning
3. I just noticed a new coffee shop on Coal called ‘Duggins’ and I can’t wait to try it
4. On Tuesday I receive a Who’s Who certificate. I love certificates.
5. My biochem group calls themselves ‘Team Jenna’. We had shirts made and we are going to wear them for our presentation on Tuesday.
6. I am absolutely enthralled in my Toxins class and I cannot wait to go to grad school to learn more.
7. I realized that if I don’t ever find a mate, and all my eggs dry up, I’m going to be just fine. I’ll be adopting a little china child, and that’s not settling, not plan B, it’s actually what I’ve always wanted.
8. One day I will have a springer spaniel puppy named phosphofructokinase and will call him/her pho pho for short.
9. Today my Tasmanian Devil friend (from Tasmania) said ‘for a skinny white girl you have quite an ass’. I realize it’s a mediocre attempt at a compliment but he called me skinny and commended my trunk. Don’t skip your squats bae!
10. I had leftover hamburger helper [cheesy Italian shells] and it was even better than when I had it yesterday after I had just cooked it.
11. My bed. Oh my bed.
12. My favorites don’t reflect it, but I tweet pretty hilarious shit.
13. I found out the Juarez family I babysit for had their third child, Joseph, and Melissa invited me over for dinner next week.
14. I am really trying to learn Spanish, please don’t give up on that!
15. The London Fog at Tia B’s Waffleria is absolutely perfect.
16. Today I wore my black Lulu Lemon shorts and didn’t shower and was productive AF.
17. The new House of Cards season 3 comes out on Friday
18. Next week I only have one exam
19. I had one of my very last free sweet teas at McAlisters on Friday

This list is never-ending… but I really need to learn all about anemias before tomorrow.
Stay bright Jenna. Make them ask how you do it. Invest in your brain, that’s all you’re going to have in the end. Don’t be afraid to sit alone, you bring a lot to the table.

Stay happy and healthy.

All Things Senioritis

January 27, 2015
It’s the third week of the semester, and not surprisingly, my classes have progressed to their full-fledged relentlessness. As I reluctantly cling to the framework of a weekly routine I am quickly becoming… bored. There is life to live. I’ve found that my yearning for learning has been replaced with a need for a greater social presence. Unfortunately the social life I’m living leaves me running on empty like 90% of the time and my type A personality is practically suffocating under the weight of my procrastination. There’s something so enticing about ignoring the endless to-do list and downing a bottle of cheap bubbly before Lyft-ing all around Nob Hill. However, waking up with a screaming hangover and a blurry recollection of the previous night’s debauchery makes me feel even more hollow.

2015 is the year I’m on team Jenna. No one is going to love me more than I love me and the first step is doing things that make me happy. One of my New Year’s Resolutions was to find people, places and things that make me happy and see, go and do them more. So here’s a [random, incomplete] list of all things happy.

1. Getting As. I love As. More specifically A+s, 100%s. Extra credit? Count me in. Why? They make me happy.
2. Waking up early and meeting KP for coffee. Something about that human just helps me burn brighter. I’m more me when I’m with her and that makes me happy.
3. The feeling after a good work out. The mixture of sweat, fatigue and pride is truly unparalleled. And I feel happy.
4. Going to church. There’s a peace that comes with going to mass on a regular basis and my happiness depends on it.
5. Learning about Toxins. I love poisons, venoms, neurotoxins. The biochemistry just fascinates me and I’m pretty positive my graduate school education will involve human toxicology and that makes me ecstatic.
6. McAlisters. Sweet Chipotle Chicken Griller with Mac n Cheese. With ranch of course. Food makes me happy and pretending it doesn’t won’t make me happier.
7. Consuming ethanol and dancing like there is no tomorrow. Judge if you must, but there is something so rewarding about just drowning your inhibitions in a gin and soda and shaking your Kardashian like you actually know how to dance. I laugh and I’m happy.
8. Hearing people say they are on ‘Team Jenna’.
9. Finding a new song that I absolutely love.
10. Making ‘Gin-and-Gins by Jenna’ no matter where we go. Two ingredients gin and ginger ale, but it makes me happy, making others happy (and tipsy).
11. Drinking Moscow mules out of copper mugs.
12. Spending one on one time with my best friends. They are all hilarious and it’s impossible to be sad around them. Damn I’m lucky.
13. Making out. I just love kisses. Kisses make me happy.
14. My bed. Oh LAWD my bed. Sleeping on a cloud. Heaven = happiness.
15. Teaching Chemistry. I love being a TA. I love my office hours and help sessions. I’m excited I get to have my own class for 2 years. I know TFA is what I’m meant to do next and that makes me happy.

As the battle between weekday Jenna and weekend Jenna continues over the next 13 weeks I plan to have one goal. Stay Happy. As you may have guessed there are quite a few conflicting desires on the above list, and that’s alright. I’ve always been a master of balance and tolerant of fatigue.
“I would always rather be happy than dignified.”
—Charlotte Brontë , Jane Eyre

How to Treat a Broken Heart, or Poison Your Lover, with Foxglove

As a female who has suffered from a broken heart, and entertained the idea of revenge via assassination, this article(http://naturespoisons.com/2014/08/05/how-to-treat-a-broken-heart-or-poison-your-lover-with-foxglove-digoxin/) really glommed my attention. Additionally, there is just something so innately enticing about the most beautiful things being the most deadly. Foxglove is a stunning array of clustered flowers, blooming from stems that can sometimes reach over six feet tall. Although stunning, underneath the myriad of pinks, yellows and whites, lurks a deadly toxin, digitoxin.

Digitoxin is a cardiac glycoside and its affects, most prominently, are on contraction of the heart. This sugar-cloaked molecule stealthy binds to the sodium pumps in the cardiac myocytes. This hindrance causes a flood of calcium ions resulting in an increase of cardiac output. The outcome is an increase in pumping power, causing a greater exodus of blood, slowing the heart rate. Medicinally this is an excellent tool in treating a plethora of heart conditions. However this conniving compound has an extremely low therapeutic index, which means if you’re given just the slightest increase in dosage its effects escalate rapidly from helpful to fatally harmful.
Belgium felt the devastating effects of this toxin in the 60’s when a pharmacist assistant accidentally replaced an active ingredient in a common medication prescribed to prostate cancer patients with digitoxin. This study cracked cases of intentional digitoxin homicides wide open. One specific case involved an ENT (Ear, Nose and Throat) doctor who wanted to rid himself of a girlfriend.
We all know breakups can be messy, so in lieu of any emotional distress on the female’s behalf, he figured euthanasia was the obvious choice. He insisted she needed a routine exam, and with a gloved finger inserted the poison into her rectally-as is the preferred route of all ENTs. He must’ve been the most conspicuous about the whole thing because she lived long enough to express her concerns to authorities and he was arrested for murder.
Despite its obvious shortcomings digixotin’s uses in the medical field are hard to ignore. If you’re suffering from heart failure, this is a potential shunt to consider. I mean you won’t be cured but at least you won’t parish indefinitely. Dr. Willaim Withering predicted the potential medicinal uses of digitoxin back in 1775. And it’s used today, remarkably frequently.

All Things Lonely

Today I want a boyfriend. Or girlfriend. Gender in this case is irrelevant.

I simply want the relationship where I can guiltlessly ask to be brought Panera for dinner, in bed. And they do it because they want to. Not because they owe me one, or so I’ll owe them one later. I want to feel the bed depress where another human sits, feel the emission of their body heat and all the other physical characteristics of knowing someone is next to you without having to look. But most of all I just want the sensation of another human, the comfort that someone feels like existing next to me. No intellectually stimulating conversations about how I want to cure cancer or how I cannot accept living a mediocre life. No unbridled passion or deep connection that transcends time and space. Just someone next to me I don’t have to impress, or even speak to at all. Tomorrow I can move mountains. Tonight I just want the silent comfort of a strong companion, because today I’ve felt weak.

All Things Jenna

A twenty-something determined to escape mediocrity by trying not to lose her light to adulthood.